Dear Friends and Family,
I have rewrote this email in my mind over and over again the past few days so lets hope it goes smoothly. I feel like we are forever in need of help or something but this is an important week for us. Dawson is scheduled for his MRI on Thursday, morning October 23. We will be getting as many people to fast as humanly possible.
First let me say a few things, the last couple of months have been a struggle. It is hard to explain what I have been feeling but Dawson's whole ordeal has tested or family or faith and our lives. I live with constant worry, that this tumor may came back that it metastasizes into cancer or that Dawson doesn't progress like he should. Our counselor is our ultimate help, she reassures us, comforts us and helps us get through these worries. David has done a lot better than I have but I think I have gotten to a place where I live for today and try not to worry about tomorrow. I have faith that Heavenly Father knows how I feel and understands my fears and has a plan for us all. If you think about your ultimate fear most of us would say loosing a child. The first day we found out about his tumor I could not help but believe we were going to loose our baby, so for about 24 hours I thought the worst. The grief I felt was the most horrendous full body pain I have ever experienced and I have been trying to overcome it ever since. I think I have had this MRI sketched in my brain as D-Day for all this time and it will ultimately tell us what are next step in this awful roller coaster of brain tumors will be.
This MRI is important for many reasons:
It will show us if there is any tumor left! This is crucial in his overall survival rate, if not fully ressected it has a over a 60% chance of growing back! If not fully ressected in has over a 50% chance of Metastasizing into cancer.
It will show how is brain has recovered from this surgery.
If there is any brain damage.
If his ventricles are shrinking.
If his fluid amounts are at a safe enough level to avoid having a permanent shunt put in.
David and I both have talked about the amount of support we received while we were in the hospital and it was amazing. Of course we would not wish this upon anyone but the support we felt was like nothing we have felt before. We felt like we could single handedly take on an army with the backing of all of our friends and family. It is so empowering to feel the power of fasting during such an emotionally time. We know it made a difference in our "Baby D" and his outcome. We know we will never be able to thank everyone personally for all that was done but take this as a personal THANK YOU from the Milius family.
Now some good news, Dawson has really seemed to excel since his surgery in his vocabulary, his walking, his hand-eye coordination, really everything. It is a true miracle to see this kid and we hope that everyone gets a chance to witness his special spirit, so come visit.
The MRI process is a long one, he will have to be put to sleep to avoid moving while in the machine then the MRI takes about 1.5 hours. It takes so long because they are doing it with contrast and without so they can see all blood vessels, etc. We will let everyone know what is going on asap but just assume no news is good news!
Thanks so much to everyone,
Kristin Milius
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