What I have learned over the past six months has been well a lot! I've learned a lot about the medical world most of which I care not to know but well too late. I have learned how precious life can be and how a real miracle is a "healthy child!"
I often take for granted my children even now knowing what I know. Do I make them the center of my world every minute, No. Do I make them feel special and perfect every minute, well No. Do I tell them everyday how much I love them, YES!
I am not by any means a perfect Mother, I am impatient and selfish and well tired :( Though everyday I look at my kids and marvel at them. I am amazed that my Heavenly Father has chosen me to be their Mother. I am amazed that he trusts me enough with these two wonderful spirits. I know I will probably disappoint but I will try my best. I need to be better. I need to strive to be the Mother I know I can be. I love my kids that much!
The road I have traveled the last six months has not been an easy one, has it been the hardest road possible, absolutely not. I do know that! The pediatric brain tumor world that I am now a part of is not an easy one. Brain tumors are not easy in fact if you are lucky enough to survive one you usually have long lasting complications. Mothers who I would call my friends, though some I have never really meet in person, loose their children. Mothers who I believe are much better Mothers than I am do not get more time with their children. I cannot tell you have many Mothers I have meet in the last six months whose children did not make it. They did not get the MIRACLE that is Dawson. They do not get to witness it everyday, like I do. They have to grieve and hold to past memories. Is it fair? No way but I hold to the fact that some day, we will have PERFECT knowledge we WILL understand why these children were so desperately needed.
Dawson is absolutely a miracle if you did not know his history there would be no way of knowing it! Other than the scar on his head, which I usually get asked if he fell, he has no complications. He speech is catching up at rapid speeds and he is a pure joy to be around!
I am proud to call these two beauties MY CHILDREN!
We are so incredibly blessed!
so well put! Good job, you make me want to go hug Maklee and give her lots of kisses.
ReplyDeleteGosh I have the cutest niece and nephew EVER! I love them!! Those are really cute and funny pictures btw.
ReplyDeleteThose are the cutest pictures! I love the close up one of them in the bath tub! SO cute!! Your post is well put! I am not a mother, but I am an aunt of almost 10 and they are my life. THanks for sharing how blessed we are to have the children in our lives!
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh!! I just noticed you changed your banner picture. I love it!!! lol. keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI go on your blog everyday just to look at my beautiful grandchildren's angelic faces. I love them so much and can't wait to be home with them. I really mean that, this separation has made me realize how much I have missed by being away. Please kiss their beautiful faces for me. I see so much of both of you in them and I love you all so much.
ReplyDeleteLove and kisses,
Mimi
I have a sign in name and passwork but I keep forgetting them, that's why I am going on Anonymous. It's old age.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Mimi
Your post made me get teary eyed. I love how you make me realize that you don't have to be a perfect mom to be good mom. Your children are lucky to have you as their mother!!!
ReplyDeleteThat was a great post. It made me want to wake up Jocelynn and hold her. We are blessed to be able to guide and love Heavenly Father's children. It really is a joy!
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me cry. :) Also to remember no matter how old our kids get we need to be grateful they are our gift here in this life. You amaze me, thanks!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about "treasuring you children" it is easier said then done. Hearing everything you've gone through makes me appreciate my children's health so much. You guys are such cool people, we do need to hang out sometime!
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