The Crazy Life of the Milius Family

Ugly Christmas Sweater

2012-02-14T13:10:00.001-08:00

For our December Bunco I suggested we do "BEST" holiday sweater!! I was unable to find my old really GREAT sweater and DI came up empty so I had to use my sisters. Christmas Kitties did the job!!!

Black Door

2012-02-14T13:01:00.001-08:00

If you know me at all you know I'm not happy unless I'm doing a project!! From building shelves to painting countertops I. Love. It. All.
Our front door was the standard builders white. BORING!! I have wanted to paint it for 5 years!!!
Last summer I finally got to it!! While I was at it I painted our faded shutters black also!!
LOVE IT!!

Dawsons MRI

2012-02-14T12:50:00.001-08:00

I know it's been months but with no Internet at home right now blogging has taken a back seat!
Dawson had an MRI in September as a routine follow-up to his brain tumor and also as requested by his ENT to make sure his severe nose bleeds were not being caused by something more serious!
Happy to report there were no surprises and no post op changes!!! We are 3.5 years from diagnosis and he is still doing great!!! Love this boy!!

Dawson vs. Dallin

2011-11-04T17:07:00.001-07:00

Dawson 2007 Dallin 2011

Dawson 2007 Dallin 2011

They do not look alike to me...What do you think?

Halloween 2011

2011-11-04T16:26:00.000-07:00

We had a great Halloween this year!!!! We LOVE Halloween.

We had two American Ninja Warriors and the cutest turtle you ever saw!!

Seriously, cute!

Turtle boy...

Adorable...

I was one of Warren Jeffs wives. I won the prize for Bunco and created quite the controversy. hahaha..Just what I expect from a Halloween costume. David was a little weirded out because he thought I look too authentic. haha

David was some sort of Dr. Death. He was able to get a hearse and an old casket for our "trunk or treat" at the church. We had a strobe light and dry ice to add to the creepy effect. We WON best vehicle!! I like to win ;)

Milius Family 2011. btw that is a fake prego belly!

Creepy old casket!!!!

Just because he is gorgeous....

2011-11-04T16:24:00.000-07:00

Just because he is gorgeous.....

Black Island Farms...

2011-11-04T15:56:00.001-07:00

Every year the kids preschool goes to the pumpkin patch! My kids love it. They have slides, hay rides, animals and face in the hole. ;) Being the great mother I am ;) I allowed Brielle to skip school and we made a family day of it.

This is Dawson with his best buddies, Trevor and Hank.

My kids...I'm so proud.

The three amigos...

Brielle showing off her mad skills...

Oops that hurt a little...

David and his best friend Karl the llama.

My good lookin family....

Brielle and her awesome pumpkin..

Dawson and his awesome pumpkin...

First Birthday Photos....

2011-10-30T18:46:00.001-07:00

My sister Karly took first year photos of Dallin this year and I have to say I like them better than Kiddie Kandids! (which has gone down hill since their buyout) My sister does great work, is very reasonably priced and getting a nice new camera next week, so check her out here.

Okay some people do not like his crown but I DO...so too bad! ;)

This is one of my FAVORITES! I saw this picture idea on pinterest but it was a little girl wearing her moms heels. Well since I do not have a girl...we improvised with David's vans. I love how it shows how small he still is.

My sis had a great idea to let him do the cake again and take pictures as he goes....They turned out awesome!

Poor cake never had a chance! HA

Disclaimer: I have the cutest baby ever! Just sayin. hehe

Dallin Turns 1....

2011-10-30T18:04:00.000-07:00

Cannot believe that my little brown eyed, olive skinned, Italian baby is a year old. It seems it went so very slow but also very fast! He did not sleep through the night until 10 months old. He has 10 teeth including 2 molars and the bottom 2 are almost in. He is tall and skinny coming in at 75% percentile for height and 50% for weight. He was just recently weaned and was not happy about it but has taken to whole milk wonderfully. He smiles all the time and lights up the room when he does. He loves his family and his mommy most. :) He eats anything you put in his mouth but seems to get hives from strawberries. He can say, dada, mama, dogdog and a few other words that seem repetitive but I'm unsure on what they mean yet.

For his birthday we decided we would do a Monkey theme! We were so excited to be able to have some of our California family in town to celebrate with us!

My gorgeous Italian BOY.

Big shout out to Melissa R. for making this awesome banner and the door sign.

I made monkey cups....with the help of some besties.

I made monkey cupcakes.....

Door sign..thanks Mels.

We had a huge Mexican feast which included these yummy creamy chicken taquitos!..MMMM
Click on link for recipe.

My other super friend Melissa C. made this adorable cake!!! Love it!.

No party is complete without a pinata. :)

Dallin's special birthday bib.

Ready to devour that cake but he was very hesitant!

So I shoved his hand in it. He was not happy.

Then he caught on. ;)

The kids all got monkey faces, hats and blow thingys. :)

I did say all the kids didn't I??? No party is complete without "COKE" or "DOH" putting on a show. Thanks everyone who came to celebrate this great baby!!!

Field Trip to the Fire Station

2011-09-30T18:22:00.000-07:00

For Preschool Dawson got to go to the Clinton City Fire Station and he loved it! He is still talking about it.

Look at Dawson's face. Pure delight!

Learning how to stop, drop and roll. Love that Dawson is curled in a ball! HA

Watching the fire video. Hank, Dawson, and Trevor.

They got to see the gym. Again look at Dawson's face.

Tanner did not like the fireman.

Dallin loved them.

Hank going through the ambulance.

Trevor and Dawson.

Some of Dawson's preschool classmates.

My gorgeous BOY!

Zoo....

2011-09-30T18:07:00.001-07:00

A couple Tuesdays ago we had the chance to go to the Zoo for free (thanks Mariah) so we went before all these boys had preschool. We spent a couple hours and it was great! There was no crowd the weather was AWESOME and the smells of the animals were not very strong because it was not HOT.

First step was the train ride. It is only about 1 min long but they are boys and love it none the less!

Cooper and Hank.

Dawson drinking from the Lion....He liked poop this. :)

Yes all these kids are boys! Seven boys! They are going to tear up West Point someday.

These three boys are VERY close in age! Dallin, Trevor and Hank.

Dawson starts Soccer

2011-09-10T18:15:00.001-07:00

Dawson started his first year of soccer! He is on the Blue Rocket Flash. He was not sure the first game and refused to play. He cried and locked onto my body. He gave it one chance and fell. He was really upset then his coach gave him a pep talk and he tried once more. Kicked the ball two times!!

Today he played against his buddy Trevor's TEAM!!...These two boys were so excited!! I caught them several times during the game chatting...

Warming up!

Running sideways!!...Hilarious!

Running around the field. He is always grinning!...It really is funny!

Trevor warming up!...Determined

Dawson talking to Trevor...

Dawson "sprinting!"

Dawson "eating it"

Dawson and Trevor chatting again!

Trevor getting a breakaway!!!

Dawson skipping off the field.

So proud!!!

Best Buddies....

Brielle starts Soccer

2011-09-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

This is Brielle's second game of the season. She is now on the bigger field and it is five on five. She also has a practice once a week. She really loves soccer but not the heat! She has been doing pretty good this season she got a few goals the first game and one today. She is a little slow to react but as the season progresses we are hoping she improves on that.

Breakaway!!!!!!!!

About to attack the ball :)

She got it....

Another breakaway!

Toothless wonder.

Angry because I'm not holding him.

A Utah fly. :))) They have been making life pretty miserable the last few days!

Dawson Starts Preschool

2011-09-10T17:18:00.000-07:00

My Dawson boy started Preschool for his last and final year before kindergarten. I'm glad he has a November birthday because he gets that extra year to get ready. Plus he is scared about Kindergarten.

Dawson wanted/needed "super fast running shoes that do not make his legs tired." Seriously, that is what he told the shoe lady! It was hilarious. He is still at the age where the shoes actually make him "faster!" ;) LOVE THAT!!

See him posing the Nike's??

Handsome.

His best buddy Trevor.

Another best buddy Hank.

He found his apple with his name on it.
He had a hard time staying for preschool. He cried and did not want me to leave. He has been going to this preschool for a year and a half. Not sure what is going on with him but he has been having some separation anxiety lately. I am hoping as it becomes more of a routine that it will be easier on him and me.

Camera Strap

2011-09-10T16:38:00.001-07:00

I have really wanted a fancy/cute camera strap for my camera. My Sister in Law has a super cute one and I fell in love with it. Problem is I did not want to spend $25 on one. I also wanted to get my sister one for her birthday. So I did what anyone else would have done. Googled it. :)

I found a tutorial that looked way easy. So I decided I would make my own!!! It was easy!

Here is the one I followed in case you need one!

http://www.kevinandamanda.com/crafts-projects/make-a-ruffled-camera-strap-slipcover.html

This is the fabric I chose for me!

This is the fabric I chose for my sister!

You start with two strips of your main color and sew them together. Then the fabric you want as the ruffle you want twice as long!

I have never sewn a ruffle so I was a little concerned but it was easy and fun!..

Love this fabric combination.

Finished!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!

This is my sisters!!!!

Bath Time Boy

2011-09-10T16:27:00.000-07:00

This 11 Month old sweet baby of mine loves the bath! Loves it!

Something about this boys face that makes my heart melt. Even when he keeps me up at night.

He loves to splash the water! Every now and then it gets him in the face and he takes a loud deep breath!

Brother FUN!

Look at these cute wrinkle feet!

Brielle's First Day of First Grade

2011-09-10T16:14:00.001-07:00

Brielle started first grade this year. I cannot believe she is old enough. Cannot believe it! Here she is the morning of her first day. Egg sandwich was her breakfast of choice.

Classic in front of the door picture. I told her to give me a pose!

This girl has a lot of poses.

My pretty grown up girl. (Notice her Nikes!)

Her brothers were very proud!!

In front of her door.

At her desk!!!! She was very excited to have her own desk and not just a table!

3 Years....

2011-07-30T15:51:00.000-07:00

It has been 3 years. 3 years since I heard those words. Words that would forever change me, my family and our lives. Words that have such a SIGNIFICANT impact on a Mother. Words that replay in my mind not daily anymore but several times a week. Words that I still have nightmares from.

We found a mass. (click to read)

Nothing you do can prepare you for those words. Even if you "know" they are coming. It hurts so deep. I never really understand true heartache until that moment. It is as if someone has literally removed your heart. Your chest feels heavy and empty all at the same time.
We as a family and I have come a long way since that day, July 29, 2008. With the help of meds :) of course. I like to think we all love deeper, appreciate more, and treasure all the little moments. Of course we all have our weak moments though.

I often refer to myself as the Kristin before and the Kristin after. After such a traumatic event how can you not be different? I have a mental block for memories before that day. They are hard to recall. I have had a lot of bad days since then. Days I find it hard to get out of bed. Days I do not feel grateful for anything. BAD I know. Those days happen a lot less now.

I remember sitting in church several months after that day and the lesson was "Come what may and love it." The examples some women were sharing, in my opinion did not hold up against what I had just been through. I had to get up and leave! I have learned since then that everyone has trials. Trials that have more or less significance on every individual. I am NO stronger than any other woman because of what I have been through. Any Mother when put in that situation just steps it up and does what is needed for their child. Everyone is asked to bare certain trials and I would not trade mine for others.

As the 29th of every month creeps up I do have anxiety. It is a hard day. The unknown of that day was HORRIBLE. Then I look at my healthy boy and smile. I am grateful for him. For his personality that tests my patience EVERYDAY. I am grateful for the gospel, the power of prayer and fasting. Anyone that lives through a trial like this has to believe in a higher power.

Here is the week in review from threes years ago...surreal.
Review

Next Wednesday Dawson will be having his MRI to check the status of his fluid and for any other abnormalities. Prayers would be great!

4th of July Pictures

2011-07-06T13:23:00.001-07:00

Love 4th of July!!!! Favorite Holiday. We had a great day. We started with our West Point Parade at 8am. The kids were able to ride in a school bus for the 100th Anniversary of the school district. They were so excited but said it was hot and boring!..:)

Then we headed to my Moms house where my sis Karly took pictures of my kids!

Playing Patty Cake....

Love these cute kids!!

Confused face...

Love...

Pretty girl....

Cute Kids...

David Jr......

Hi...

Hillbilly Brielle...She actually lost another tooth at the fireworks...

Loving this one....

Naughty BOY...

Look at all those teeth!

Dimples....

Angry!!

Teeth...

Love this CUTE BOY!!!....

Then we went to our West Point City celebration!..Great time and great fireworks!!!
Great 4th of JULY....

BEHOLD....DAWSON'S PHOTOSHOOT....

2011-06-01T14:43:00.000-07:00

Here is the Dawson Photoshoot I having been dying to post. I love this boy. He challenges me daily. He is a pest and a tease. I take him how he is...<3

Dawson was asked how old he was.....while trying to get his fingers just how he wanted them....this is what we GOT....SEE BELOW!!!..HAHAHAHAHA

I love it. I told my friend I wanted the picture DO NOT delete it. She looked at me like I was crazy...It makes me laugh every time I see it..Doesn't it make you laugh?

Then he got his fingers right...;)

So handsome.....

He is a GQ model on the side.....

See this grin...this is what he flashes when he is in trouble. What do I do?...I melt.....Call me Mommy Pushover!...

Brielle's Photoshoot....

2011-05-19T13:58:00.001-07:00

SO I OFFICIALLY SUCK AT BLOGGING.....I HATE MY INTERNET CONNECTION! QWEST SUCKS AND TAKES FOREVER TO LOAD PICTURES!!!

I do however want to finish sharing the pictures from Dallin's newborn shoot. Yes he is 8 months old, and? He does not sleep so that makes for an extremely tired Kristin.

These are Brielle's individuals:

Is she gorgeous or what?

I mean she is much to pretty to share any of my DNA!!

I especially love these photos of Brielle because it was just a couple short months later that she lost both of her top teeth. Starting that inevitable "AWKWARD" stage....

She really is photogenic. She gets in front of a camera and just poses!

Brielle has turned into quite the little Mommy. She can change diapers. Watch the baby while I get a power nap. She helps feed him solids and Dallin absolutely adores her!

Love this girl....

PS...STAY TUNED FOR DAWSON'S INDIVIDUALS. I HAVE QUITE THE SURPRISE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Photoshoot #3....

2011-03-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

This is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE.......oohhhhh
Can you believe how cute it is??

My little pea....

Love all the wrinkles...

This profile.....I LOVE!

Second FAVORITE....

Oh my sweet newborn baby!!!

Dallin Newborn shots.....

2011-03-04T08:31:00.001-08:00

I love this one!...Nothing more beautiful than a sleeping newborn baby....

You either love these shots, or hate um...I love them!

My sweet baby....

Not a care in the world...

Isn't this a sweet picture???....

Oh how I wish he was still this little...:(

My friend Michelle Krainich is an excellent photographer. She is located in West Jordan and really does amazing work. She is a single mother trying to support herself and her kiddos so Please check out her website at http://shellygeller.blogspot.com/

Or on FACEBOOK.....@Shelly Gellar Photography

Photoshoot..........

2011-03-02T10:59:00.000-08:00

I am sooooo excited to share the pictures from Dallin's newborn photo shoot! It has taken awhile for me to get them because of lost mail and other issues but I got them! Dallin was 6 weeks old and looks so little. It is amazing how fast time goes. :(

This is my FAVORITE one. I love it!

Sooo cute!..

Love all those feet....

Dallin is kind of grinning here!

My kids are so cute!.. ;)

They really do love him....

This is probably my second Favorite!!...Love it!
This is only 7 pictures of 78!!! So expect a lot more to follow this. I have individuals of each kid. Gonna plaster these babies all over my walls!

Dallin's First Christmas....

2011-02-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

I took these photos of Dallin right around Christmas time. We are just so in love with this baby. As you can tell from the pictures he has a very contagious smile! It is hard to get frustrated with a baby that is always smiling!

Oh my heart just melts....

I know every Mom thinks their children are the cutest but come on....mine really are..;-)

Looking at his sister...

Oh how I wish he would just stay little....

My baby....Oh I love him!

Bathroom Counter Tops..............

2011-02-11T11:34:00.001-08:00

Our Bathroom Counter Tops were another thing we did not upgrade in our home. They came with a standard white cultured marble. At the time we were like "score!" Though over the course of living in our home I quickly realized that white counter tops are AWFUL. There was no way, NONE, to keep them clean! I had to wipe them down everyday and if I was busy they did not get cleaned. I have been looking into replacing them for years but because of cost have not. Then I decided to research re-doing what was already there! ;)

Here is a picture of the white. Not bad by any means but impossible to keep clean!

Another.

First step was sanding the sheen off the marble!..Medium Sand Paper did the trick..quick and easy. Then you tape off everything you do not want painted!.
Then you buy a GOOD primer!..I got a valspar primer and had it tinted to the gray you see above.

Then you spray paint it!!!! Yep that is right! Spray paint. It is the "stone" speckle spray paint!...Look how cool it looks.

Full view of the spray painted counter!.

Next step...you add the shine! It gives it depth and makes it smooth like granite!!!....

The sheen is a Poly Resin. It is called Enviro Tex. It is like putting a 50 layer resin on. It is used for restaurant counters, tables, bars etc.

Putting on the sheen was a little intimidating but proved to be quite easy!

You have to be very patient in letting it dry the full 72 hours!

The shine really makes the counter!

For under $50 I was able to transform my counter tops into something I LOVE...

LOVE it....Now it is time to finish the bathroom!...Painting here I come!

Bathroom......

2011-02-07T10:28:00.000-08:00

When we built our house 4 years ago there were a few things we or I should say "I" thought were over priced to have the builder do. Such as Medicine Cabinets in our Master Bathroom. They was to charge $150 a cabinet. I knew you could get them for about $40&up at Home Depot so there was no way I was gonna pay that! Now 4 years later I have finally installed 2 medicine cabinets in our bathroom!!!!!

Picture 1: Is what the wall looked like before!

I first started with a little hole to view inside for anything that would make installing a cabinet impossible. Such as a water pipe. It looked good from here so I continued breaking the drywall out.

I went slow and carefully because I did not want to hit any electrical wires that might be in the wall. As you can see I did find a stud, which I knew was there.

A little piece of the drywall peeled underneath the desired area but a little drywall putty will fix that right up! I did run into a water pipe on the right side of the stud but it did not interfere with the installation.

I then used a Jig Saw to remove the stud. This was tedious because I did not want to go through the wall so I had to cut slowly and chip away the stud.

This is a picture of the cabinet in the wall. I screwed into the stud on the left and into the top and bottom of the stud I cut. If you look closely the Medicine Cabinet particle board actually started to buckle because it is such a tight and secure attachment to the stud. (I'm not worried about the buckle at all.)
With the mirror attached.

Starting to put junk in it ;)

All finished. If you look in the mirror you can see the other side! They are both finished now and I. LOVE. them! More bathroom pictures to come!

Christmas 2010 Picture!

2011-01-28T11:33:00.001-08:00

Again late but here it is....Love these kids!

Dress Up............

2011-01-28T11:21:00.001-08:00

My kids love dress up!...I find myself getting irritated because they are always unfolding clean clothes and changing their outfits 10x a day!

Not sure what this is but maybe...vacation clothes gone bad?? ;)

These costumes have been great they wear then all the time!

Peter Pan and Wendy??? hahaha

Officer Brielle!

Miss Hawaiian girl....

Hero and the Princess....

Okay, he didn't put himself in this costume but I had to include him.

Random....

2011-01-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

This is how we eat our steaks.....

This is what happens when you do not look at the couch before you sit....

Dawson & Trevor...

2011-01-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

Here is Dawson and his friend Trevor in a Mickey Mouse costume!...just a few sizes too small costume ;)

Blogging is a vicious cycle. If you are always playing catch up then you will never really catch up! These pictures are from July!

Pink Hearts.....

2011-01-10T20:38:00.000-08:00

Another catch up post.....

Brielle plays for the Pink Hearts soccer team which she named and well she is awesome...if I do say so myself ;)

She dominates the girls her age...which leads to her getting bored....

She is absolutely not afraid of getting on the grass...

This is her signature, "I just scored signal!"

This is "I fell but I'm okay!"

(These pictures below are from my sister Karly...she got great action shots!)

Goallllllllllllllllllllllll..............................

Goallllllllllllllllllllllllll............................

Goallllllllllllllllll................

Goalllllllllllllllllll................

And well it has become kind of a Milius signature now ;;;) Dawson loves to cheer her on!..When its not too hot that is...

P.S. When I mean she dominates I'm not exaggerating..those goals are all from one game...She usually gets about 5- 7 a game!...I know stud right? hehehe

Rejected Xmas Photos

2010-12-17T13:43:00.001-08:00

Here are a couple of funny Christmas photos that did not make it on our card this year! Too funny not to share!

My kids and their funny faces ;)

Who does Dallin Look Like????..................

2010-12-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

Here is our Dallin boy:

Double chin ;)

Just chillen...

Dallin with Binky...

Sleep smile :)

Here is our Dawson boy:

Look at all that hair!!!

He has the chin...

Just soaking....

Sleep smile :)

Here is our Brielle-y!....

Just soaking....

Binky shot...(Look at that crazy hair!)

Pretty girl!!!....

I'm leaning toward a mix! I think Dallin has Brielle's eyes and mouth! I think he has more of a Dawson nose! Dallin seems to make a lot of "Brielle" faces to me. It will be interesting to see where his looks go ;)

One thing is for sure my kids are all born with HUGE noses!!!

Water Slide FUN..............

2010-12-09T09:04:00.000-08:00

We have INTERNET...............So catch up posts coming!

Over the summer my parents bought a HUGE waterslide! I found it on KSL and it was sooooo much fun!...The kids loved it but Dawson would not go down the slide!

He just sat at the top and let the water run on his head!...Apparently, it was too HUGE of a slide for him. ;)

I just love this boy and all his quirks!

How funny is that face?????

He held onto the handle and would not let go!

We had to stop the big kids from going down the slide to give Dawson and turn at the top!..HAHAHA...Love him!

Dawson turns 4.....

2010-11-25T17:25:00.000-08:00

Dawson turned 4...yes 4 on November 17th!...He had a little preschool birthday party and then we celebrated at Monna and Coaches house!

Dawson's Preschool teacher really goes above and beyond for these kids!

Dawson's new favorite shirt!..Buzz Lightyear!

Dawson's punching bag....oh yes...Thank u Karly ;)

Dawson's "toodle" cupcake cake. This boy loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!

How we love this big Miracle boy....

Fun with cousins.........

2010-11-25T17:16:00.000-08:00

Brielle, Dawson and Lily at John's Incredible Pizza!

Milius Family at John's Incredible...

Cousins sharing an ice cream cone!

Cameron and Lily being silly....;)

Even Dallin enjoyed some cousin time napping with Jaxson!

Brielle, Dawson and Will..(who is actually my cousin, their 2nd cousin)

Sure had a fun time hanging out with all our family in California!

Brielle turns 6....

2010-11-25T17:01:00.000-08:00

While we were in California for a wedding Brielle had a birthday! My first born turned 6 years old on November 11....We were at our cousins amazing new house and guess what? The birthday fairy visited her all the way from Utah! Oh and she chose a Spiderman Cake very Brielle!

We went to John's Incredible Pizza for her birthday and were joined with all our family and all of our friends! It was great! Brielle played games, games and more games! We all ate and she opened a few presents!

8 Week Old

2010-11-25T16:53:00.000-08:00

Our baby Dallin is 8 weeks old! I cannot believe it! This is his Teddy Bear Snow Suit from his Aunt Angie and Uncle Greg!

Brielle took this picture and we think it is pretty funny!

Dallin is weighing in at 12lbs! Look at those wrist rolls. (Okay I realize he is not the fattest baby in the world his best friend Tanner is but I still think he is chubby)

Dressed for a wedding in California..GQ Model...

Nothing better than a sleeping baby! Wish he would do it for longer stretches! Man we are so in love with this baby!

Another Closet......

2010-11-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

I did this closet before Dallin was born. In one of my nesting periods. As I explained in the other shelf post I hate dressers! They take up space you cannot see the clothes stacked in them and my kids unfold all the clothes to find the one thing they are looking for! Soooo I build shelves!

Forgot to get a real before shot but here is the first support beam!

All the support beams!...I choose to use beams and drill them right into the stud because I anticipate my children climbing up them at some point!

Painted and caulked.

All finished! Dawson has the 3 bottom shelves. Dallin has the top 2 which are actually further apart so store a lot of clothes!

Last Prego Picture..............

2010-11-02T16:22:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken by Brielle on my iphone! This is before I went to the doctors and was sent to Labor & Delivery to have Dallin!
So this is the day I had him! BTW I hate prego pictures! Look at the Prego face...ughhh!

Pumpkin Patch.............

2010-10-29T15:42:00.000-07:00

The annual Preschool Field Trip I braved it and took all three kids!

Brielle and her pumpkin!

Dawson and his pumpkin!

The kids with their friend Maklee!

Dallin enjoying the patch!

Me and the kiddos!...(Or the fat girl and my kids!)

Dawson going on the big slide.

Brielle on the big slideBrielle and Trevor on the big slide.

Our 4 week old.........

2010-10-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

Our love Dallin is 4 weeks old!!!...I cannot believe it. In some aspects it has gone fast in some aspects very slow. Here are some fun facts about our baby:

He likes his binky.
Only sleeps 2-3 hours at a time. (Yea I am dying!)
Spits up a lot more than Brielle and Dawson ever did.
Has a very mellow personality.
Likes to sleep with his hands up by his face. (just like we saw in the U/S)
Has already smiled twice at me when talking to him!
Weighs a little over 8lbs.
Is still in Newborn clothes, because his legs are soooo short ;)
Holds his head up on his own and has since birth.
Uses his legs to push himself up the bed.
He is very strong.
Has big hands and feet.
He is balding.
He has hair on the back of his head.
His double chin is growing and so is his middle!
He has delicious LIPS!!

Our 2 Week old!!!.......

2010-10-13T18:01:00.000-07:00

A busy two weeks! Dallin had a really high jaundice count on his 5 day old check up! His pediatrician told us to go straight to the hospital to start lights. Among the discussion it was told to us that if his counts do not rapidly drop then a blood transfusion was in his future! On Friday his count was 26.1....Really HIGH.

After 24hrs in the hosptial his count was down to 16.9. We were released to go home but he still had to be in the lights!

This is him at home! He hated the home lights more than anything! It was sad and pathetic. He wanted to be held. It was torture for me! After day 2 his counts were 13.5. My Pediatrician told me that between 12-13 we could stop the lights. I figured he was close so let him sleep with me!..Bad decision, his count jumped to 14.5! Ughhh. Then after another night of lights he was down to 12.6!! Took two days off and rechecked his count back up to 16.8. I cried! Though they expected the drop and said no lights! Again re tested 2 days later and he is around 12 again! His liver is now kicking in! YAAAAAAAAAAAA

What have we learned about this cute baby in 2 weeks?????

He loves his Mommy's bed ;)

He loves his hands up by his face!

He smiles a lot in his sleep ;) Which I LOVE.

Melts my heart!

Also, Dallin is allergic to SHRIMP. I had fried shrimp and he was not himself! Up ALL night. Very rough on the Mom. Then the next day he had little hives all over him :( I talked to his pediatrician and he said it is definitely a possibility because Brielle is allergic to shellfish! UGHHH. Of course, during All-U-Can Eat Shrimp at Red Lobster! I may have to feed him pumped milk after my Red Lobster trips ;)

Dallin weighed in at 7lbs. 6oz at his 2 week check-up! He gained 6oz. in 5 days!!

This is Dawson in the Nicu. Dallin has his chin and nose!!!

This is Brielle. Dallin has her eyes!!! :)

Better sibling pics to come.

Dawson's Nicu Nurse

2010-10-13T17:55:00.000-07:00

While in the hospital after we had Dallin a nurse came in to check him over. To our surprise it was Dawson's Nicu Nurse! We never got a picture of Dawson with her at the time but I was not going to miss this opportunity. She was his main nurse while in the NICU and he was always in such good hands with Darla. She holds a special place in my heart because it was very hard to leave him there but she made it more manageable. Not really a NICU baby anymore ;)

Baby Makes 5.........

2010-10-08T17:12:00.000-07:00

Prepare yourself this is gonna be long! After 4 weeks of pre-term labor, Dallin Gary Milius finally arrived at 36 weeks 1 day! I was sooooo happy to be done! Not that the pregnancy was miserable, I felt great until the contractions started! My OB told me she would be out of town and I knew that I would go into labor, early yes but all in the head!!! I started contracting and held out over the weekend and Labor day before going to the doctors! I was monitored and contracting every 5-7 min. I was checked and 1cm and about 30% effaced. Only 32w3d! They immediately put me on meds to stop the contractions! They never stopped! I was back three days later for monitoring and still 5-7 minutes apart. I was sent over to Labor and Delivery to get stronger meds! (still my ob was out of town) With pain meds they were able to slow the contractions to every 8-10 minutes. Saw my OB the next week and she immediately sent me to L&D again to stop the contractions. She also gave me steroids to help baby Dallin's lungs since we were all pretty sure he was coming early. Had to do steroids the next day also! Saw my doctor once a week for the next two weeks and we were just chugging along! Still slowly dilating and effacing but holding on! She told me at the 36w mark they would not stop me any longer and to stop the meds! Whoo HOO! I was soooo sore from all the contracting that I was barely able to function! Stopped on Sunday and was at the hospital Sunday at 2am with contractions every 3-5 min and much more intense! Dilated to 3 and 60% effaced. Gave me a shot of pain meds and they slowed my contractions again! I was sooo angry I was ready to be done! I had a Doc appt. two days later on Wed. and I knew I was going to beg her to let me have this baby! The contractions now were much stronger and I could barely move because I was so sore!..
She was going to let me go home but I pleaded my case! I knew I would not survive another week with the contracting being so strong! Plus I was a 4 and 80% effaced! She agreed to send me to L&D to have a baby!!! They started pitocin at 2, broke my water at about 4 and he was born at 7:58pm! It went sooo fast! My body had been trying to have this baby for weeks and it was ready! My epidural did not work and finally after begging again they gave me a spinal. I was a 7-8 at the time. Had him an hour later! Glad it worked ;) I was numb until 5am the next morning! Which was nice no after birth pains ;)

This will be only "in labor" picture you will get of me ;)

Pushing was a little more difficult with a spinal because I was soooo numb! Though after about 5 contractions he was born!! 7lb 4oz and 19 inches long! 36w and 1 day!

David cutting the cord ;)

Getting clean and oxygen.

He was mad!

Suction...

Gary Stefan look alike ;))))

Got to hold him!! SO happy since I did not get to hold Dawson after he was born!

Daddy and his boy!

Monna and Dallin.

Mimi and Dallin.

First time seeing their brother!! SO proud!

Big Sister!

Big brother!

Family Pic! Not the best!

Auntie Karrah and Baby..

Cousin Hailey and Baby..

Auntie Teresa and Baby...

Papa and Baby....

Another Gary Stefan look-alike!

This is actually who we think Dallin looks most like, Uncle Kyle!

First Bath!...Looks like he enjoyed getting clean, definitely my boy!

So content and pink!

Going home!...Ya with Mommy and Daddy no NICU time!!

Already so in love!

Love that boy!

Gifts for his older siblings! Dallin gave Brielle Little Mermaid 2...which she has been begging for and Dallin got Dawson a Monster Truck!

Introducing Dallin Gary Milius....

2010-10-01T20:22:00.001-07:00

Born 9-28-2010 at 7:58pm. Weighing in at 7lbs 4oz, 19 inches long 4 weeks EARLY! Much longer post to come in a few days! For now go to my sister's blog to see all the pictures!

http://michelsenfamily.blogspot.com/

Thanks Karly for all the cute pictures!!

My Baby Starts Kindergarten.......................

2010-09-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe she is old enough for kindergarten :( It was bittersweet for me. She of course was stoked! Up bright and early ready to start her day, even though she has afternoon kindergarten!

I love that she was posing for all to see her backpack! That had to be special ordered to find an "iCarly" backpack!....A sling style with one strap! Spoiled I know!

Dawson had to get a picture with his "big" sister! Oh and he had to wear his backpack!

Brielle with her teacher....Mrs. Thurgood ;)

So excited!

Sitting with her class!!! I love this girl and cannot believe she is as old as she is. She was my first baby and is now gonna be old enough to be a great helper with the new baby! Wow time goes way to fast!

Dawson starts Preschool.............

2010-09-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

My Baby BOY!!!!! He started preschool!!!....Makes me a little sad :(

He was soooo excited to wear his Buzz Lightyear "Pack-Pack"

He is now a Jelly Bean Junction boy!

Dawson and his best friend Trevor!!!...These two crack me up!

Posing next to the birds! He looks very interested in taking the picture!!

I like this picture of him by the calendar!

Checking out all the toys!

Hanging his "pack pack" up!

Starting his day with Play-do and his best bud!..Notice Trevor's concentration tongue! ;)

Bunco Twlight Style ;)

2010-09-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

Red & Black is the obvious color choice!

The table's and center pieces! (Notice the apples)

I wrapped candies with Twlight Labels.....

Twilight prizes!..Twilight Bags, Lotions, Candles, Scentsy & Twilight Scene It......

Prize table!!....The only thing I did not get a picture of is the "Vampire Blood" drinks I did. Which were glass strawberry crush soda, with wrapped labels around them with various Vampire slogans! FUN NIGHT...

Brielle's Preschool Graduation

2010-09-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

In May....Brielle graduated from Preschool! Again a little late but catch up is great! They do a presentation and perform for all the parents! That is Brielle with "Teacher Sara." Do not mind the kid in the background knuckle deep in his nose ;)

Performer!

Brielle does a lot of shy faces in these pictures!...hahahaha

Shy again ;)

Love her faces;)

Again with the shy face ;)

Library Card..............

2010-09-17T16:40:00.001-07:00

Catch up time!!!!!!:))))) This is a few months ago ;) But bed rest is the perfect time to update the blog!!

My kids (Brielle) has been dying for a Library card! She is in love with the movie Matilda and had to get a card of her very own! Since I was working at the time it took us awhile to get around to it but when we did both the kids loved it!
She wrote her own name on her card!

Grin!!!!!

Smile!!

I love this boy!!!

Proud!!!!

Always Interesting!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-09-02T15:40:00.000-07:00

One thing about our Milius family is that you never know how your day or night will go....Friday night at about 8pm kids are in bed I am in bed and I hear a big thud! Wait for a second but do not hear a cry. It was not until about a minute later that I heard the terrible scream! David heard the thud from the garage!
Dawson had leaned over his bunk bed rail and fallen head first to the ground. I tried to be the "new" Kristin and not panic! Act like everything was going to be okay but we quickly realized this was not going to happen. His cried changed. It was a strange sound! He was holding his head and making "the mouth" movements he did pre and post brain surgery. He was lethargic, not responding well and could not hold his head up!
I called his neurosurgeon or the neurosurgeon on call and the doctor told me, well if he is not throwing up then you can go to your local ER is you want. HUH? I was not pleased with him.
We went to Davis Hospital who took us right back. By this time his eyes were responding well to light and he was WAY more coherent. He had broken blood vessels on the front of his head where he obviously hit the carpet! Though when you asked him where it hurt he would point to the top/middle of his head...Weird, we thought! We all agreed that with his history we would all feel better with a CT scan just to "check" things! After, 20 minutes with no results I again said the famous words, "This is taking to long, they had to have found something!"
Sure enough the doctor came in and said well it is a good thing we did the scan there seems to be a bleed on his brain. Right in the top/middle of his head. David and I were floored that Dawson had been telling us that, that is where it hurt!
The doctor said we are consulting with Primary Children's Hospital and they are gonna want to LIFE FLIGHT him there! He said I will try to push for an ambulance instead. We again ride the ambulance to PCMC hospital just like we did almost 2 years ago exactly! Weird, I was not even upset. No tears. No crying. JUST CALM.
ANYTHING COMPARED TO A BRAIN TUMOR I CAN HANDLE. THE LAST AMBULANCE RIDE WAS MUCH DIFFERENT. WE KNEW HE HAD A BRAIN TUMOR. WE KNEW HE WAS VERY SICK BUT THAT WAS IT. WE DID NOT KNOW IF HE WOULD LIVE!!!!!
Upon arriving at the hospital he was rushed into the Trauma room. Now this is the room they bring emergencies! Drowning, car accidents etc. I felt like we were in the wrong place! 30 or so people working on Dawson, checking him over, doing X-rays etc. Overwhelming much! Again, I was very calm.
The doctors pulled up his CT scan and we went over them. He asked me if the spot they saw was different from the last scan? I loved the respect he gave me! Knowing that as his mother I have read enough CT Scans and MRIs to know when something is different! I was positive that the spot was not on his last CT scan. Which he then pulled up and confirmed it was new. Though we were not very concerned because it was very, very small. It could have been new blood, old blood or calcification from all he has been through. He told us Dawson was not in any immediate danger or in critical condition at all but he would like him to stay the night for observation.
3 hours later of sitting on a metal chair we finally had a room!.. My tail bone has not recovered! 4 am and it was time for bed!The world renowned neurosurgeon Dr. Walker came in at about 8 am and told us he was not very concerned either and believed it could be just calcification. He said we were good to go home but sent us home with strict instructions to limit Dawson's activity. RIGHT!What a night right! ;) I love this BOY even if he does kill me eventually!!! ;))))))))
To top it off Monday at Wal-Mart Dawson fell backwards off the 2 seater cart and hit his head on the tile!!!...Though not lethargic I was slightly freaking out! He seemed okay and I relaxed.

This Chuckie Cheese inflatable crown may just be worn 24/7!!

Announcing............

2010-08-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

Our New Baby Boy......well at least his name ;) Dallin Gary Milius...... Look how cute the burp rags turned out ;) Now we just need a baby to go with them!...They kids are very excited and love calling him by name! It is so cute!
BTW--Gary is after my Dad, in case anyone was wondering.

Surgery Day

2010-08-10T16:25:00.000-07:00

I know I am behind on my days but thought I would post where I left off!...Disclaimer: Since being laid off we no longer have internet at home. We both live on the internet on our phones just not on our computer which makes blogging.....well a little challenged!

July 30: The nurse comes and gets me to say goodbye to my son before they take him for brain surgery, this is 7 am. I just cry because if things go terribly wrong this could be it. Though he did not look like himself with a machine breathing for him and a bald head with a drain coming out it, he was absolutely beautiful to me. I watch as they wheel him away. Wondering what was to come and what was in store for our family. I prayed so hard that I would feel comfort. That this fear would subside and that I would be able to breath. It was the strangest sensation as I was feeling the comfort of my Heavenly Father! I was strangely confident going into the waiting room. Maybe numb but that is okay.
Surrounded my family and friends we all held our breath as the wait began. I remember thinking well I better do my make-up because at least I would feel better. Nope that did not work :( Though the yummy baked goodies and snacks brought in by friends did work. Funny how eating always makes me feel better!

They say 5-7 hours for the surgery and that they would call us periodically and tell us how it was going. 1.5 into it they call and say just getting started we had a rougher time getting all of the stinking IV's in . 1.5 hours later the surgeon walks in to the waiting room with no smile on his face and calls David and I into the conference room, I thought I was not going to make it to the room. I was faint and nauseous. He said everything was great, went great and they were done! He said it was very successful Dawson did not loose very much blood so he did not need a transfusion and they believe it to be Choroid Plexus Papilloma, or a benign tumor. I could have kissed that man! From 2pm until 2am I sat in a hard rocking chair holding my incredibly brave but incredibly frightened 20 month old baby. He would not allow me to leave him and would cry out for me until I returned so I went no where. When I could take it no more I laid him in his crib or jail and went and caught about 3 hours of sleep. The guilt almost consumed me and I was right back at his side!

When we arrived...............

2010-07-30T17:06:00.001-07:00

When we arrived at Primary Children's Hospital is when our world as we new it really started to change. We were brought quickly into reality. A sad reality for many families and children. Dawson was wheeled through the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit and one of the nurses remarked, "Oh he is way to healthy to be in here you must be in the wrong place." I felt relieved. Yes, we do not belong here!

We walked around to the Neuro Trama floor which by the way, you never, never want to be there! Shortly, after getting our room the Neurosurgeon Fellow came to talk to us. He said at this point all we know is that Dawson has a mass and it needs to come out. So expect to have surgery in the next 48-72 hours. He was really vague and non personable. He told us that he and his team were going to review his CT scan and then he would order more tests before we really know anything. An MRI was ordered immediately and the wait began.
The Fellow came back within 30 minutes. He had worry all over his face! He explained that Dawson was a lot sicker than he thought. His brain was severely swollen. His tumor was larger than they were told and that he could suffer severe brain damage if they did not put a External Drain in his skull put him in a medical induced coma and perform emergency surgery at 7am. He was shocked that Dawson was conscious (somewhat) and not seizing! He showed us the CT scan on the computer in Dawson's room and I almost fainted. It looked huge! To top of this conversation David was not even at the hospital yet!...I had to repeat all of this to him after he arrived. I was not there alone but having to repeat it actually hurt my insides.
Within 15 minutes they doped him up with Morphine and he held his head up for the first time in a week! Then they took him away. That was hard. He waved goodbye in his drug induced alert state and I sobbed.
Everyone was starving and we were told it would take a couple hours to finish his MRI and his drain. We ended up at Chili's restaurant where I proceeded to chew out a perfect stranger! That day my perspective on life changed! Little problems were pointless! When I heard this woman complaining about her soda not tasting right I lost it!. I told her, "My son was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, and he is having a drain but in his brain as we speak, who cares about your stupid soda!" Now I feel terrible about it but at the time I didn't care. This woman looked at me like I was insane. Which I was, and still am :)
When we arrived back at Primary Children's they were not done with Dawson. Two hours turned into about six. I was really worried because we hadn't heard anything! After, we finally got the call to come back we were told that they had an extremely difficult time getting the drain in because there was so much pressure in his brain. Also, the MRI took longer than expected because they wanted to scan his spine as well. I fell onto Dawson's crib when they told me that!
The explained that they thought based on location that the tumor might be benign but would not know until the final pathology came back. He said they would take him back at 7am and the surgery would last about 4-6 hours. They explained they would remove part of his skull, re-arrange some of his brain and get the tumor. Then put it all back together with screws and plates.
The most genius question I could come up with sobbing again, "Will he beep at airports?" Yep that's right. Will he be able to go through the airport. Lovely, I know!
At about 3am I decided since he was just laying there I was probably okay to go lay in my "Parent's Room (CELL)" and try to sleep for a couple hours.

TODAY.......................

2010-07-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

It is very hard to put into words what the last few days have felt like. It was 2 years ago today that we got the diagnosis of a brain tumor for Dawson. It some aspects it feels like forever ago!..In other aspects it feels like yesterday!...

When we went to the pediatrician that day, the 27th of July "I KNEW SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT." He had only been throwing up for 2 days but my Mommy instinct told me to worry and demand help. I remember pleading with the on call doctor to admit him to the hospital and run scans on his brain! She thought it was just a flu as did all the other doctors but I knew otherwise. I told her to look at him, he cannot hold his head up, he will not open his eyes, and he will only sit in this position!

After some blood work that came back dehydrated she finally agreed to admit him!...So thankful! His pediatrician was there in the hospital that night what a relief to have him there! He also reassured me it was the flu and that after a night of fluids he would feel much better. That did not happen!

This is how he looked the next morning!...Not any better! I begged his pediatrician to do a CT scan. I remember him telling me..."CT scans expose the child to a lot of radiation, we do not want to expose him." I thought at the time, if my child has a brain tumor I DO NOT CARE ABOUT A LITTLE EXPOSURE TO RADIATION! The doc says lets run some other tests today and if they all come back normal we will do a CT SCAN first thing in the morning!....
Tests were run and my boy still was not any better. The CT scan was ordered for the next morning. The morning of the 29th. We watched as our 20 month old baby was strapped to the table for a CT scan but didn't put up a fight at all. He just laid there with his eyes half open.
I watched on the computer screen as they scanned his brain. I looked for anything that might catch my eye. Of course I saw nothing!..Now I know what to look for; what an accomplishment! On the way back to our room the Radiologist started asking strange questions, "Has Dawson had any falls lately?" "Has he been out of the Country?" My gut told me brain swelling! He told us the Doctors would get the results in 30 minutes. 3 hours later no word. My heart grew heavy! When our nurse cleared out our relatives, my stomach sank. Then our "OFF" duty pediatrician walks in!....I almost threw up! The doctors would not look me in the eyes. The first thing out of their mouths was, "Dawson's CT scan results are back and we found a MASS, we do not know what it is but it is not good." That sentence plays over and over in my nightmares and in my day dreams.

The pediatricians were not sure what the Neurosurgeons would want to do exactly so they said prepare to stay a long time and prepare to have emergency brain surgery. Here is my cute baby boy in the Ambulance on the way to Primary Children's Hospital. This is the first time he had his head up since the 24th of July. The whole ambulance ride was a blur. I sobbed and sobbed. Dawson had a blank stare on his face the whole time like nothing was processing for him. It was very hard to see. The next several hours were some of the looooooongest in my entire life. They will require a post all on there own.

All of these pictures were taken with my phone because we were not exactly planning to need a camera.

Prego Pic!!...

2010-07-16T19:22:00.000-07:00

Everyone keeps asking me for a "Belly" Pic of my pregnant self....Sooo I gave in!...Here I am at 27 weeks!..ENJOY ;)

4th of July Fun.....

2010-07-09T08:17:00.001-07:00

We went to our yearly West Point City 4th of July party!!...It is always fun!..They feed us residents for $1 and usually it is yummy BBQ....This year not sooo much!...Meatless Sloppy Joes...UGHHHHH......So we filled up on FAIR food...u know Deep Fried Oreos, Gyros, Gigantic Hot Dogs, Kettle Korn etc..:)

There is always a vendor selling glow sticks but I decided Im not paying $5 each...sooo I came prepared with glow sticks for a BUCK...Yep these glasses were only a BUCK!....GO ME...

The glasses did not want to stay on but...we figured them out!...and they were awesome!

Blurry but oooohhh sooo cute!...

Sweet Lyla Girl!!...LOVE HER

That's my crazy GIRL....:)

Look at that beautiful SUNSET..WOW...

Disclaimer: All pictures taken with my iPhone..:)

Hawaiian Girl

2010-07-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

Recently Teresa and Denny went to Hawaii...They brought back souvenirs for all their kids but also for Brielle!..Her very own Hawaiian outfit!...It is a adorable!...The coconut shells are FLAT..hahahah...
She is sooo excited!...
We are going to Hawaii with the WHOLE Milius Family next July and she has already packed this outfit!...;)
Love this girl and the shy face!

Grateful.....

2010-06-22T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today I am finding myself very grateful. Grateful for all the blessings I have. For the miracle that Dawson and my family was given. It has been a rough month or so in the brain tumor world and with each child that passes I grow more and more grateful for my Baby D!.....

I am thankful for my kids because:
I get to clean dirty, stained clothes,
I get to fold loads and loads of their laundry,
I get to cook meals for them,
I get to clean up after meal messes,
I get to redo hair several times a day,
I get to kiss owies,
I get to watch as they completly loose control,
I get to see their personalities test boundaries,
I get the opportunity to Mother them here on this Earth,
I get the oppotunity to hear them say "I love you"
I get to snuggle with them,

I AM SO BLESSED.....

Here is an entry from a Mother who lost her child to a brain tumor exactly a year ago:

One Year:

Sweet Liam~

Two years ago I began this journal for you. We were a mom and dad given the most unimaginable news. I wanted people to see you through my eyes, through the eyes of your Daddy. I wanted them to know how much life and hope there still was in our family.
I remember that morning in April holding your hand and it struck me how tiny you were. This was your kindergarten year just five days after your sixth birthday. We'd been so busy marveling at what a big boy you were becoming. That morning as you lay so helpless with a monster in your brain you seemed so remarkably little to me. You were just six..just six. Mommy came to find out though that although you were just six, your courage was mighty.
God was certainly with us the days and months that followed. You reminded me of that in such profound and ordinary ways. I saw it the first morning after you came home from the hospital and I found you and Owen quietly playing with one of your jets. I saw it when you decided to try riding your scooter again. I saw it when you sat so still and calmly at your many dr appointments and as you took your chemo without hesitation or complaint. I saw it the day you decided no more anesthesia for radiation and when you boarded the bus the first day of first grade. Some months later, I watched as you carefully walked with your walker from the school parking lot to your class determined despite your struggle to make it there on your own. How in the world did you ever get so brave, Liam? I am still astounded by that.
Indeed everything changed that day in April but you know some things, perhaps the most precious of things, remained the same. Your sense of humor for one! Never once did you ask "Why me?" Your heart was so full of love. For your family, friends,school, doctors and nurses. Animals, who must have sensed your gentle spirit. But more than anything you loved God. We could see so fully what peace that gave you. Couldn't we all learn something from that?
Today marks one year since God freed you from the disease that had overcome your body. But I know with certainty that cancer did not in fact steal your spirit. You, my boy, were way stronger than any of that.
I can't pretend this year has been easy. Matter of fact these twelve months make cancer look easy. So many special days have come and gone and each greeted with bittersweetness. I am stunned how the sheer force of life propels given that such a huge part of my heart went with you that day. But still here we find ourselves. It's difficult to explain the ache that comes at the sight of your green backpack hanging starkly in the hall closet. How it pains my heart to notice how small the hand print on your stepping stone looks and how Owen's own fingers stretch far beyond yours now. Still I see you son in the faces of Maeve and Owen and in the funny nature of Aidan..how he sings out the little songs you used to make up with such abandon. How he shakes his little booty dancing around here just like you. I see you in the stories they share with me now..their memories of you. I see the love you share with them in their tears when the missing pours out. I see you in the quiet strength of your Daddy, in the way he helps us laugh even when we hurt the most.
In the days following your passing I wondered how I could possibly do this for the rest of my days. But I am coming to terms that a month, a year, a day is only my very limited, human understanding of time. As difficult as these days have been God has allowed for other things to remain in our hearts like love and laughter and still.. hope.
If I could see you now Liam I imagine you would crawl up into my lap and settle down in my arms just like always. I would fix your hair gently to the left. I would look in your bright blue eyes and trace the crazy arch of your brow. I would tell you how much I love you and how despite my longing to keep you with me, I celebrate your new life fully in Christ free from your struggle. I would tell you how you have turned my gaze more fully to my God and how your seven years and two months filled my heart. I would tell you how the promise you shared of hope and faith guides my days. It's ironic perhaps how gratitude can be mixed in with the heaviness of grief but if we don't remain grateful for your life no matter how limited your days, I can't imagine where we would be. There would be no room for anything else.
I know you are with us Liam.You live in my heart. The things we had hoped for your life here have changed now to the hope we have to live with you where we'll never have to say goodbye again. I know with utter certainty you are my angel. Save a place my sweet boy. Pray for me. I love you,
Mommy

PS. I NEED THESE REMINDERS...I NEED TO BE MORE GRATEFUL AND NOT SO EASILY IRRATATED...

Bad Pictures????

2010-06-07T19:11:00.001-07:00

Have you parents every seen a bad photo of your kids?? For me I cannot say that I have!...I mean there is the eye blink and crazy face..but to me they are all funny and cute. Plus, I think my kids are gorgeous so why would I think any picture is bad ;)

Like this handsome boy?

Or this full laughing smile??

Or this heart stopper??

How about this crazy haired on the go girl??

These sparkling eyes??

This is one of my favorites. What is he looking at? His eyes are so intense...I love it!

Now I'm sure that all of these photos are "technically" wrong from a photographers stand point...but I love them!...That is all I want. Tons and Tons of pictures that I love of my favorite kids in the whole world!..(that is why kiddie kandids loves me..I have never seen a picture I do not want!) :))))

Eat your hearts out...PART 2 :)))

2010-05-29T11:11:00.001-07:00

This is Brielle's closet. It has always been well a problem! We have a bin on the floor for undies, and a bin for socks! Then on the other side of the closet I have one of those hanging organizers for all her PJ's. Why not in a dresser? I hate them!.. She now has one but my kids rooms are not large!...and by not large I mean SMALL. Soooo for space sake I prefer closet organization!...This is how it started..

With no REAL linen closet I have resorted to putting extra sheets in each closet. That is what is on the shelf. Then I had this epiphany the other day. Why not put "cubbies" in her closet!...Especially for the boys because all I have is a changing table for storage and Dawson's clothes must go somewhere.

So the idea was put to the test! I started with Brielle's closet and took down the two rods! (There is a full length rod on the other side of the closet!) Then I measured out how I wanted them.

This project was actually a little harder than the laundry room for many reasons but I now feel confident in doing the boys room. Now I just need the motivation. THIS CLOSET EXHAUSTED ME!....

I put up support beams because lets face it...I'm sure I will catch my kids climbing on these shelves at some point!....Attached everything to studs and each other...

Here they are finished..time to caulk and paint!...The fun part!!!:))))

I love to paint!....anything and everything!...Sooo therapeutic to me!!

Put PJ's on the bottom. Socks in the little cubbie and underwear in another. Tights in one and bathing suits in another. The extra linens way up high ;) and Brielle filled the rest with her "treasures." I have not decided if I will get rid of the entire dresser and fill the rest of the cubbies but for now we are loving the organization....BIG SMILE :) With the boys I will go further down to the floor since I will have all their clothes in there and there are two ;) ENJOY!! (PS pics taken with iPhone..sorry for the quality)

Sweet Baby Sofia Rose Stefan.......

2010-05-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

My sweet new niece, Sofia.......She was so big she had to come C-section!...I think 9lb 4oz but this pregnant brain is not that great at remembering things lately ;) It is soooo strange to see a STEFAN..with color!!....

I do not know about you but to me this baby is all STEFAN...:)

My kids just love her!...Look at those fat cheeks!

Sooo sweet!!....

I don't think I took enough pics!!..:)

Look at that sweet profile...love>

Ohhh....I wanna keep her forever!!...I want her to be mine!..I love this baby sooo much already!..

Eat your hearts out.................

2010-05-25T19:16:00.000-07:00

I don't know what it is about pregnancy but it makes me want to organize!...I hate, hate HATE clutter!...I like everything to have a place and everything to be in its place. After being in our house for nearly 5 years I finally came to the conclusion I need to create more room for dirty clothes.! With working and being pregnant I find that I just do not get to the laundry as often as I would like or should. And if it does get washed it often sits in a basket until it is used again!...I know terrible!!
In our laundry room, we had the coat closet from the hallway built into the laundry room instead of having an actual closet. Great idea but with the gigantic winter coats hanging there year round it left no room for dirty clothes! Or clean for the matter :)
As embarrassed as I am look at the laundry disaster you would not get the full joy unless you saw a before!...Ughhh...I had major anxiety about going in the laundry at all!...My solution!??!?!?!?!?
Floor to ceiling shelves!!!...Eliminate the winter coats...now hung downstairs and build shelves large enough to hold 2 laundry baskets on each shelf!...Making a total of 10, yes 10 laundry baskets!!!!........YAAAAAAAA
It actually went easier than expected and I love, LOVE IT. Painted it all to match and of course had to buy some new laundry baskets so they all matched ;) I have never had laundry hampers in the kids rooms. I hate them! Instead the kids have always brought their dirty clothes from the day and thrown them in the ONE basket. Now with all the clothes we accumulate it was just not working!
Even more exciting....my kids are now separating their own clothes from lights and darks! Progress! So we have towels in the bottom two baskets, kids clothes on the next shelf, Mom and Dad clothes on the next shelf up, then clean clothes on the next two shelves!...NOW I NEVER HAVE TO FOLD AGAIN....well if I don't want to that is!!....SOOOOO HAPPY!

This shelving project has spun me on an organization binge...built cubbies in Brielle's closet (pics to come) and now plan on doing the boys closet!...Maybe next week :)

Random Dawson Pics....

2010-05-25T19:10:00.001-07:00

This is what happens when you try to lick the sour cream off your plate!!!.....

Play hard....sleep really hard!

I may have posted this before....I think on Facebook but I love it!...

He really wanted to color!!!

This is what I came home from work to find!...Hilarious!!...

Sickey's..................

2010-05-18T12:24:00.000-07:00

I did it! I spoke too soon! I made the mistake of saying my kids have been healthy for a few months. WRONG. The flu has it hard!..Dawson started on Friday..still sick. Now Brielle is running a fever and complaining of a tummy ache!..It was been a long weekend...Whoooo

Soccer Girl..........

2010-05-16T20:56:00.000-07:00

Brielle is down to one last game in AYSO soccer! On Saturday she got her TROPHY!.....This has made her life! It is all she has talked about since receiving it. She has been looking forward to this trophy all season long.
It is a pretty nice trophy! The ones we used to get as kids had a plastic gold look. Not cute!

It's a.....................

2010-05-01T15:08:00.000-07:00

Cannot miss those boy parts!!!...

Notice the hand coming down to the parts :)

Cute Profile!...

Sucking his thumb!!!

Again with the thumb!!...

Arms...!!!

Profile again...with hand nearing mouth!!!...

Ahhh...cute big FEET.....

Profile and leg...

Weird 3D ultrasound...Spiderman BABY..:)

Scary...Looks like his is ready to fight! :) Head looks huge!...Must be my boy!!..:)

Baby Gender..........:)

2010-04-26T15:28:00.000-07:00

The voting was not working so lets try that again...PLZ vote :)

We hope to find out next week what we are having!!!!! We are soooo excited....The general consensus is a GIRL....so we shall see...Tell us what u think and vote above!!!....:)

My Girl..................

2010-04-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

I also wanted to share how much I LOVE this girl of mine.......

She is soooo mischievous.......

She does not obey.......

She has a very, VERY difficult time listening.....

She is hyperactive!!.......

Does not like going to church....

She already has a "cell" phone..........

She thinks she is in CHARGE.......

She cannot keep any clothes CLEAN...(look at pic)

She loves to torment.........

She has done good as of late but has been known to sneak

into our bed in the middle of the night.............

Even with all of those little traits that I'm sure all come from me....We love this girl to death. She is always entertaining us. Between her guitar playing and singing to her pretend adventures!! She is a fabulous sister and very tender hearted. She loves her friends and wants to play with them everyday. She is very intelligent and does well in preschool. She likes her room clean and her hair just right. She is starting to have an opinion with her clothes and what to wear. She wants to be on American Idol someday. She is an excellent soccer player (when she wants to be ;). Again, we accept this girl with her faults because she is ours!..We love her and someday she will be married with her own family and if she wants to snuggle with me in my bed...Well then SO. BE. IT.

My BOY.............

2010-04-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

Just in case anyone was wondering how much I LOVE this boy I thought I would let you know.......

He does not sleep in his own bed yet......

He is not potty trained......

He does not go to primary without a fight.....

He does not clean up his toys.......

He does NOT like to eat any meat......

He is extremely naughty.......

He loves to tease and irritate...............

He likes to sucker punch you.....

He will not even try a new food if it is at all "different" looking......

He cannot pronounce his "k".......

But with a face like that do I care about any of these things?? NOPE. He can sleep in my bed until he is 30. I do not care if he ever eats anything other than chicken nuggets. I would like him to potty train but really not pushing him at all. I will continue to pick up after him because well, I still clean up after his Father so why should I make him clean ;). I know he is naughty and mischievous and I recognize this as bad behavior but I do not really care!..He is so cute that I find it very difficult to discipline him!.. I decided that he is my baby and though I will have a new one in October my kids will only be kids once.!!! They will only want to sleep in my bed for so long then it will be a big lonely bed :(. At the rate time is going by they will be married and out of the house next week so I'm going to enjoy them. So call me a bad Mom...I don't really care ;)

Bowling.............

2010-04-01T17:01:00.001-07:00

Family Bowling..............

My kids absolutely love bowling!!... We can use it to bribe them and they will do just about anything ;)

Look at the excitement on her face!

Helping her brother get his shoes on!...How sweet!...

Both the kids ready to play!...

My handsome boy!...I love him!

Beauty!...
Proud of himself!..

Melts my heart!...

Well................

2010-03-25T18:57:00.001-07:00

Now that everyone knows why I have been in a funk lately...pregnancy..blah!!!... I feel like I can start blogging again. Yea!!

I took these pictures back in January with every intention of posting them in January but well you know....

This is just a word of advice: DO NOT WAIT TO LONG TO TAKE DOWN YOUR REAL CHRISTMAS TREE....

Certainly still looks okay at the end of January......

But this is what will be left behind..............

And this..................

And this.............

And this is what Dawson looked like while we "took away" Christmas as he called it.....:(

Cried into a pillow.........

Then he could not even bare to watch.....my poor sensitive boy:( It was so cute though as he told us not to "take away Kissmas!"

Now that everyone...............

2010-03-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Knows why I have been out of the blogging world lately now I can continue blogging. :) YEA..... I know, I know I have been greatly missed.

Sooooooooooooooo.................What is new with us? It seems this pregnancy has been the hardest in terms of morning sickness than my other two pregnancies combined. Though it is not necessarily morning sickness but ALL DAY SICKNESS...and worse in the middle of the night. I can be seen running to the toilet at 1,2,3,4 am loosing whatever I ate for dinner. I have now decided to eat meals that I do not care to loose later.

I have also decided this may not be a baby after all but some kind of alien life-form that likes to see me suffer ;). I am also aware that I am a big WIMP....I hate throwing up. Which means at those times in the middle of the night I can also be found crying. What a baby!.. I know! I am hoping in a couple weeks when I hit that magical 2nd Trimester I will get some relief and energy back!...

I think my biggest struggle with having another baby is anxiety. Once you have experienced a traumatic event it is very, very hard to find the "bright side" in things. I have struggled a lot with my emotions since July 08 and it has been hard to move on, if you will. Once you have become a part of that world it seems all you read about our see is more traumatic events. I have come to the conclusion that life is NOT easy. Horrible things happen to wonderful families. No one is exempt. The time will come for all, I believe, to have your soul shaken down to its core. Just better pray your ready.

This is what brings me to my fear. We, for some reason unknown to us, were granted the most wonderful miracle!.. A healthy boy, who as of now has absolutely no problems!!!! We got our miracle already so why tempt fate? I have two healthy children now, why add more to the odds? If something else happens we have used up our "Miracles" we will have no options. I have struggled a lot with the idea of more children. I have always wanted more but after that experience it has been very difficult.

After all, it takes one microscopic cell to grow wrong and boom you have a brain tumor, or cancer. A healthy child is actually the MIRACLE.

My only comfort is that I handled our ordeal soooo poorly that I obviously could not be tested much further, right? RIGHT? That was all I could ever handle, that makes me in the clear of any other trials!.. Wait, no it does not, well great!!!! ;)

I have always been neurotic and OCD. Some things make me more "nervous" than other things. Like dirty hands!.. My kids love to get dirty hands then touch their faces/mouths. (go figure right?) AHHHHHHH.

I was never worried with my first two pregnancies about miscarriage or any other problems. Things would just be perfect and nothing could go wrong so it was easy to just be happy all the time. Now that I have been introduced to the NON-perfect world I realize a whole heck of a lot can go WRONG. Which makes my anxiety, OCD, worrying very heightened.

This brings me to my first OB appointment. In California you get an ultrasound very early to confirm your pregnancy. Well apparently my doctor here in Utah does not usually do one. Now notice that I said USUALLY. Though when you get a crazy, neurotic, possibly insane mother in your office you have to do an ultrasound just to assure her that there is in fact a baby and not just an empty sac growing! ;) Luckily, I have a fabulous Doctor whom I love and she "understands" me! We did agree that we would like to keep this baby in longer than Dawson was and try to avoid the NICU if at all possible ;) Sounds like a great plan to me!!!

Oh and you better believe I am going to be a fool looking at the brain development in the ultrasounds of this baby! :)))))))))))))

By the way David says its a girl because the pregnancy seems to be more like Brielle's than Dawson's. I was convinced it was a boy at first but now that I have been so sick I am definitely sticking with my first theory.....Alien Life-FORM.

Big News.....................

2010-03-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

In a .............

2010-02-03T11:18:00.000-08:00

FUNK.....

Behind on blogging and do not seemed interested in catching it up...:(

Maybe someday...!!!

Sledding....Milius Style

2010-01-24T15:53:00.001-08:00

My family has spent some time this winter building a sled run!! It is awesome!! The kids can go on it for hours...It is on the side yard of my parents house which slants down anyways so it makes for a great run!@!

Well...this story would not be complete without some kind of Milius weirdness right??

Yep that is David going down the sled run SHIRTLESS!!!!

It is like 10 degrees outside and we dare him to go down naked....

Shirtless is all we got but it was still funny!!

He almost went over the big curve hill!!!!

Yep that is his butt crack running away before I get any more shots!!!

Gifts.........

2010-01-24T15:38:00.001-08:00

Everyone Gathered!!

Papa and Mimi's new Fire Pit...Cool..

Mandi's Gift....Shes purrtty:)

Landon and his new game...which he already had :(

Dawson and his new puzzles...He loves puzzles...

Brooke and her High School Musical Barbies....:)

Brielle and her new Tinker Bell...

Sittin on Santa's Lap

2010-01-21T15:14:00.001-08:00

SANTA and........................

Brooke

Matt

D.J.

Brielle

Landon

Dawson

Hailey

Zane

and Poor Baby Jaxson did not like Santa!!!

Just an FYI...He didn't like the real Santa either....it was not just white trash Santa :)

White Trash Santa..............

2010-01-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

We have a Milius Family tradition every Christmas Eve we exchange our gifts. This year we exchanged names which helped relieve a lot of Christmas stress. Though the highlight of the evening is always when "Santa" comes. White Trash Santa that is!!!
Santa gets poorer and poorer each year :).....

Here is Santa getting his Beard (underpants) on!!

Here is Santa bringing in the gifts!!!

Santa needed a good belly stretch after the long ride from the North Pole.

Santa getting situated to pass out gifts!

Santa really loves those sandals!!!

6 years................and counting............

2010-01-16T09:12:00.001-08:00

David and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on December 20, 2009!!! Wow 6 years and we still like each other....well sometimes :)

These are our couple pictures for our anniversary.
We try and take some every year...My how we change!!

Still okay looking....I think???

2008...........

2007...........

2006................

2005..............

2004............

OH HOW I WISH I WAS STILL THAT THIN.................OUR FACE'S HAVE STARTED TO SWELL OVER THE YEARS...:)

LOVE U BOB!!!!!!!!

My loves..............

2010-01-12T15:33:00.001-08:00

Seriously I see this and it melts my heart.....I don't ever want them to grow up!!!

Those dimples are gonna break some hearts...........

This boy belongs to me................

They sure do love each other..............

Beauty............

He wants to marry me someday...................I cannot wait!!! Love him!!!

The ones you didn't see............

2010-01-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

If you are anything like me then you dread family pictures!! Trying to get both kids and husband all on the same page...nearly impossible! The key: take tons and tons of pictures!!!!

These are the ones you did not see................

Dawson refuses to look at the camera......Brielle pouts....I yell and David jokes...

and it starts................

Dawson in the middle of a fit...

Those are my kids :)

Aren't they cute!!!

That makes the finished product look that much better, right????

Winter Cleaning.............

2010-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

I have decided to go through my kids toys...(we have way to many) and donate them to PRIMARY CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL......

I know while we were there Dawson was thrilled to be able to go to the "TOY CLOSET" and pick any toy he wanted to play with. I thought it was such an amazing experience for him. The downfall to this is that only one child can play with a each toy a day then it has to be disinfected so as you can imagine they go through a lot of toys in one day.

I have struggled with getting rid of my kids toys because well the are expensive and I don't want to part with them. I thought that if they were going to a place that they would truly get used then that is okay.

Let me know if anyone has a bag of toys they would like to donate or get rid of. I will take them sometime this month. THANKS

THEY DO NOT ACCEPT ANY STUFFED ANIMALS OR CLOTH TOYS AT ALL FOR SANITARY PURPOSES....

Here is a link of things they need and except:

http://intermountainhealthcare.org/hospitals/primarychildrens/donations/Pages/ServiceEagleProjects.aspx

Stefan Family

2010-01-01T16:01:00.001-08:00

The Stefan Siblings.....
Left to right: Kyle (19), Kristin (27), Eric (26)
Karrah (17), Kaelyn (12), Karly (22), Katie (23),
Scot (5), Ryan (8).

The whole Stefan Clan.....all 20 of us!!

Classic Funny Faces!!

2009 Christmas Pictures

2009-12-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

Here are my cute kids at Kiddie Kandids for their Christmas pictures.....

I think they could be models.....but every monkey is cute to its Mother..:)