Thursday, January 29, 2009

Great News!

The day is finally over and things went great. The MRI results were slow coming and we had to wait for 3 hours until they were ready and Dawson was quite the nightmare from the drugs but I would wait again to get such great results!
Let me break it down:
NO TUMOR, again no TUMOR!
Hydrochepalus is stable, which means there is still an excess of fluid and his ventricles are still large (that will never change) but it has not increased! YEA!
His body seems to be handling the extra fluid well over the last six months so as of right now it is just a watch and see game. At any given point his body can start to reject the excess fluid and then we would have to intervene but as of right now things are great.
I, we are relieved beyond belief. It was almost hard to hear the good news because I had prepared myself to hear terrible news, so after the shock has worn off I feel great!
Unless trouble arises from the hydro we are not set to scan again for 6-12 months. In the world of brain tumors this is very exciting news, very encouraging and comes with great optimism. :)
After such a long day everyone including Brielle, took a much needed nap!

Thanks to everyone who has been thinking about us! Now I do not have to worry for 6-12 months!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

MRI anxiety!!!!

Well I am not even sure where to start with this post but here goes and I am sure I am gonna sound like a big whining baby but here goes nothing. Thursday is the day! Dawson has another 3 month MRI. I am not sure why this one is so much harder than the last one, I am not sure if they will get harder and harder to face but man! I have been dreading the month of January and let me tell you it has been awful. Just to know that Thursday could change our lives forever.
Parents all can agree that the dreaded phone call that tells you your child has been in a car accident or whatever is a nightmare that no one wants to experience right, well in a weird way his MRI's are like facing that phone call every 3 months. Things so could go so wrong or just be a close call, etc. The anxiety is awful!
The weird thing about anxiety/depression is that compliments make it worse. Like when I'm worried I hate hearing, "Everything will be fine." It is like an insult because things have been wrong before and that is all I heard. I want to yell at everyone and say until I have the results in my hand that say, "EVERYTHING IS FINE," I will think the worst. It in some way helps me prepare mentally for bad news, though I know I could never really prepare.
The month of January has been a blur trying to stay busy and put a lid on my "issues" or I will absolutely break down in sobs, which happens more times then not. I have to be very careful who I am around because I am worried that some people can see through my mask then it would be a sea of tears. I cannot wait for Thursday to be over, then hopefully we can be relieved and happy for 2 more months until we do it again, ahhh.

We will go to Primary Childrens at 7:15 in the morning, they will sedate Dawson and then start the MRI. The MRI takes about 2 hours because it is actually 2 MRI's, one with a dye or contrast in his system and one without. This gives the doctors a look at all the vessels and veins in his brain. Also the contrast will show if there has been any regrowth or new tumor forming.

As you can imagine we are going to be fasting for him and any extra prayers for him would be greatly appreciated, thanks!

I love this boy!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Brain Tumors!

This holiday season has been wonderful! We are so incredibly blessed this year and have truly witnessed a miracle. Dawson has changed our lives and so has our ordeal. I am more emotional this holiday season than I have ever been. I guess it is because we came so close to loosing our Baby Boy that I am just thankful for everyday! This year could have ended so differently. I still struggle everyday with unanswered questions, Why? How? When? Why did he live and others don't? These questions I think will always be in my mind, survivors guilt they call it. Then of course the worry but I am dealing and he is thriving! :) The purpose of this post is to start to raise awareness for brain tumors. They happen daily to normal families. No parent ever wants to hear those words trust me! Research needs to be done, cures need to be found! Here are some statistics........

Brain tumors are the:

• the second leading cause of cancer‐related deaths in children under age 20

Today, January 23:

9 families across America will learn their child has a brain or spinal cord tumor.

A mother will grieve that her instincts about her child’s health were right.

A father will allow himself to cry, but only alone in the shower.

3 families across America will mourn the loss of their child to a brain or spinal cord tumor

Friends, family and community will try to make sense of an untimely death and the unfulfilled promise of a life.

6 families across America will transition to survivorship.

A mother will be too exhausted from providing constant care to her child to simply write checks to pay bills.

A father will again adapt his day, family and life to a new definition of normal, unlike any he had previously envisioned.

In the United States, approximately 3,750 children younger than age 20 were
expected to be diagnosed in 2007 with primary brain tumors, of which 2,820
were under age 15.1

Brain tumors are the most common of the solid tumors in children, and the
leading cause of death from solid tumors. Brain tumors are the second most
frequent malignancy of childhood death.

The incidence rate of 4.5 per 100,000 children is slightly higher in boys (4.7 per
100,000) than girls (4.3 per 100,000).

American Brain Tumor Association

Dawson's picture about a week before he got sick I know now that he was suffering with such a severe headache :(
I am not sure what I am going to do quite yet, start a support group, do a benefit or marathon (Andrea), but for now I am going to do my best to raise awareness!!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Snow Removal!

Well Dawson loves to help David shovel the snow he thinks he is such a big boy. David of course cannot wait until Dawson is old enough to shovel it himself, by then I'm sure Dawson will hate it! Life, right?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

About three things I am absolutely positive.......

First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there is part of me — and I didn’t know how potent that part might be — that wanted him to thirst for MY blood. And third, I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THE TWILIGHT SAGA! I am obsessed and cannot stop thinking about it, reading the books or seeing the movie. I read all four books in about a week my kids went hungry and dirty, my husband now hates "Edward" and I am exhausted. It was so worth it!!!! I want, no I need more!
I cannot wait for it to come out on DVD on March 21st!!! I cannot wait for New Moon or Eclipse to come out! I cannot wait for her to finish Midnight Sun which is by far the best version!! Love it all!
(I know I am late in the mania but I am glad I waited because I was able to read all four at once :)