Monday, April 27, 2009

MESSY FACE...............

Dawson is a dipper! I am not sure what it is with this kid and dipping but he loves it. We always catch he drinking the ranch and not exactly eating the chicken but what can you do! :)

Look at that proud face! Agghhh makes me nervous just looking at the mess!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

MAY....... Let's Make a Difference!

Dear Friends and Family,

The Month of MAY is going to be a big one for us! It is National Brain Tumor Awareness Month. What does that mean you might ask? Well Brain Tumor Awareness color is GRAY so we will be sporting GRAY as much as possible. We will also be walking the streets of our city handing out flyer's with Dawson's story on one side and various websites that need our support. Along with the flyer's we will be asking to attach GRAY ribbons to mailboxes, street lights, doors etc. To help with the GRAY CRUSADE I want to ask everyone to wear some GRAY! I have designed some apparel/merchandise to help everyone in this task. I realized that times are tough and unfortunately these products are not exactly on a Wal-Mart budget but they are for a great cause! All proceeds will be going to various Brain Tumor Charities.The merchandise has the slogan, "I wear GRAY because ................had a Brain Tumor!" There is a variety of words in the ....... line, including son, brother, cousin, nephew, grandson, Dawson etc. Please go visit my store and check out all the products. There are stickers as cheap as $4 but it would be really great if everyone could get some shirts to SPORT!
Also I ask that everyone get involved in the GRAY RIBBON CRUSADE. It would be a great youth activity, family home evening task or just a way to help without breaking the bank. Sooo attach a GRAY ribbon to your door, mailbox, lightpost, car please!If none of the products interest you or your not a GRAY RIBBON person you can always go directly to one of these various websites to make a donation:

Just a little information about why this is such a crucial cause:

  • Only 2 new brain tumor treatments have been approved in the past 25 years
  • Brain tumors are the most common cause of cancer death among children
  • Overall mortality rate of pediatric cancer has decreased in past 20 years, but deaths from brain and spinal cord tumors have increased from 18% to 30%
  • Brain tumors are the most common pediatric cancer
  • Brain tumors comprise approximately 25% of all pediatric cancers
  • Primary brain tumors constitute the most common solid tumor of childhood
  • Brain tumors are the leading cause of solid tumor cancer death in children
  • Brainstem tumors account for about 10 to 15% of childhood brain tumors
  • 3 children a DAY loose their battles with a primary brain tumor a DAY
  • There are over 160 different primary brain tumors
  • 9 families a day across America will learn their child has a brain or spinal cord tumor
  • "Benign" brain tumors may be as debilitating as those that are malignant. Benign brain tumors may recur and may result in death.
  • Because of their location at the control center for thought, emotion and physical function, brain tumors are difficult to treat, and often severely compromise the quality of life.
  • The cure rate for most brain tumors is significantly lower than that for most other types of cancer.
  • Brain tumors do not discriminate. Currently, brain tumors cannot be prevented because their cause is still unknown.

I am now a State Representative for the "Hero's of Hope", a worldwide board that is committed to raising awareness and raising money for research to find CURES. I am also a part of the Yahoo Group UFAB--United Force Against Brain Tumors with the same objective. I think most people who know us and Dawson's story think that this happens a lot. Meaning that a child gets a benign brain tumor and just gets it removed and goes on about life. This in not the case! Dawson's tumor only happens .03% of the time!!! I have only meet one other Mother whose son had the same tumor and has done well afterwards and this was just yesterday!!! Most children even with benign tumors have serious and forever side effects!! Dawson is just, well, a MIRACLE! It is time for David, Myself, Brielle and Dawson to give back and help and we are going to try and do everything we possibly can!!! Please join us!!!

Visit our store and HELP US MAKE A DIFFERENCE:


Kristin Milius


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Announcing our New ADDITION............

We are really

excited to be announcing

family news!

It has taken me

over a week to get up the

courage to announce such big news

but here it is









Welcome Libby Milius, 4lbs, brown hair, brown eyes and very girly!~
I did not want a dog, choose a dog or want to keep this dog but David and the kids love her. She is a Yorkshire Terrier, 4 Year Old, house trained and I must admit very, very cute! She likes to snuggle and wear cute doggie clothes. The kids love her and want her to sleep with them and play with them, not always what she wants but she is coming around! A friend of David's who is single just wanted her to have a family so David kindly obliged, ugghhh!
I have to say maybe it is because I have only dealt with mutts before, but she has to be the smartest dog I have ever seen. She is like part human!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Outdoor FUN!

The kids have decided to take advantage of the few clear days we have had lately with some backyard fun. This just amazing us! Dawson could not lift his head 8 months ago and now he is jumping on a trampoline. What a Miracle he is! Just the simplest things seem to amaze us these days :)
He loves the tramp, he often disappears during the day because he can now open the back door and where do we always find him? Jumping away!
He is so cute and loves to fall to his bum! As you can see from the video!
Isn't he a MIRACLE?

Also we are very relieved that Brielle learned at the end of last summer to "pump" her legs while she swings! Saves us parents a lot of time, she swings for hours. She is the only kid I know that when we go to a new park goes only on the swings and goes nowhere else.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Cutest Kids in the World!

David had the day off so went and got the kids Easter Pictures taken! I think they turned out adorable and of course they are the most beautiful children in the WORLD! I am not a biased mother, am I?

She is gorgeous! Look at that pose, just like a little model! Notice the matching socks, I know OCD!

Look at my GQ model! Isn't he adorable! I think he is the most handsome boy in the world! Look at the hand in the pocket which he insisted on! Love him! Funny story: This shirt had a matching hat, a little newsboy hat, well it was adorable! We tried on the 4T-5T wayyyy to small! Then we went to the big boys section tried on a 7-8 no luck! Let's face it this kid will never be a hat wearer but boy is he beautiful!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Re Living IT!

Well a lot of exciting things have happened lately but I just do not feel much like blogging. I have realized that the end of the Month is the hardest for me, mentally! Not only do the dates bring back bad memories but my hormones are out of whack also, not a great combination we have decided. I have a difficult time just functioning.
It is not like I go a day without thinking about the "ordeal" but at the end of the month it is worse because I am so emotional. I can seem to handle it the rest of the month I relive it daily, I get nauseous, cold sweats, nightmares etc. The nightmares are the worst but I am getting a better handle on them, I think.
I often say that "I knew" what was going on the whole time with Dawson but I keep praying that I was wrong, that my gut was just misleading me but when our pediatrician walked in with the other Doctor "I knew" my suspicions were right and that is the moment I relive over and over. I completely lost it even before they said anything, because I knew what they were going to say! I remember not being able to breath like some one was pushing on my chest, I often feel it when I think back. Then Dawson, (who had not lifted his head in days) looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes with such concern, for ME, can you believe that, he was the one who was sick but he looked at me with worry! So many thoughts went through my head in that exact moment, how could such a perfect boy be sick, how could my child have this, how are we ever going to survive this, and there is no good outcome from these things how could I ever go on if we loose him? I just stared at him wondering how long we would have him?
My brain and my heart where telling me two different things at this point and for about 24 hours until after his surgery. My brain was saying no one survives this and my heart was saying he has to survive this.
The other moment I relive over and over, is when Dawson was already on the ventilator and under it was 2 am and the Neurosurgeon said we decided to scan his spine to look for more tumors. I thought at that moment that is was over, my little boy was going to leave this Earth way before any of us. I collapsed on his bed, my legs just gave out the room was spinning I thought I was going to pass out! See the brain is all connected to the spine, the fluid runs all through it which means if you have brain cancer you often have some in your spine. I knew that but was not prepared to hear it. The Neurosurgeon grabs my shoulders and says it was clear, his spine was clear. I could have killed him he should have started with that news first!!
Still to this day 8 months later I still relive it!!! Everyday! It is so hard to put it away, the feelings are so fresh in my mind it feels like it was yesterday! It often creeps up on me and I can usually control my emotion most of the time but the end of the month there is no controlling it. I often start crying for no reason, at work, the store, in the car, at church etc. I NEVER, NEVER want to feel that hopelessness and fear again!
Of course now I am even more neurotic, every bruise is Leukemia, every ache is a bone tumor, it is awful. I watch him like a hawk, waiting for signs or symptoms, wondering when and if it will ever grow back!
David and I decided that vomiting is not allowed in our house! That was of course his first outward symptom and it triggers horrible feelings. A few weeks ago Brielle was coughing in the middle of the night and threw up, David started to panic. He was freaking out, then we realized why. Bad memories!!!
I am sorry for being MIA lately its just during this time I hate everyone, I do not want to see anyone and have to fake normalcy, I just want to be alone and cry. Then after a few days I feel better.
Sooo the next couple of days should bring a weeks worth of overdue posting:)