Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Found this on someone elses BLOG! IT IS PERFECT!

Things that you can do for someone you love to be a support and friend through their grief. I know a lot of people just "don't know what to say/do" so they don't do anything. Not doing anything is the wrong answer. Hopefully this list can help you help the ones you love in their journey of Grief.

1. First and foremost TALK about the loved one. Even if it uncomfortable at first, it will become easier.

2. If you didn't know the person at all or very well, ask to hear about them and learn of them through stories.

3. Don't ever put a time line on someone's grief.

4. Saying things like, "They are in a better place." Really isn't comforting. It makes the bereaved feel like the place they had with them wasn't good.

5. If you don't know what to say, just say, "I'm So sorry you have to go through this."

6. If the person needs to analyze the circumstances surrounding the death, let them just talk and rehash anything as many times as they need to.

7. Don't assume they are ever "better." It never gets better and will be a part of them for the rest of their lives.

8. Don't underestimate how frazzled, abscent minded, spacey grief can make you.

9. Pamper them if you have means. Retail Therapy worked great for me! So did pedicures and getting my hair done, I felt awful on the inside, at least I could try to feel good about me on the outside.

10. Love notes. Emails. Thinking of You cards. Thinking of the bereaved person cards.

I know I did not loose a child but on that horrible day part of me felt like I did. I did not feel like there was a good possible outcome of course to my surprise there was. I still am dealing with all of these emotions, and it's awful!

2 comments:

Missy said...

I am so sorry that you are having so much stress and sadness from this. You are a good person and I just think all your honesty about everything you feel has been amazing.

Anonymous said...

Hi. I don't even know you but I was just looking through my friend blogs friend lists for people I did know. I happened to scroll down and see that your son had a brain tumor. I have to just tell you that I cried the entire time I read about him. I am so happy for you guys that everything has tuned out well so far. I have a 10 month old and I cant even imagine going through something like that. You truly are a strong women. We will keep you guys in our prayers.